ASTRO-RELATIONSHIPS: How to recognize a bad relationship and what to do when you don’t know what to do about it.0
Look at my face; do you think at (almost) 46 years old that ANY man can get one over on me? No way! I’ve had the wool pulled over my eyes and I don’t like it; too scratchy. Oh, men with facial hair: even a very, very close shave won’t convince me. I’ll stick with anonymous synthetic fibers, thank-you-very-much. We’re talking real love life here! The things that keep some people up at night. For the wrong reasons. Or for the right reasons — see, I’m not sure. I’m on the side lines. I’ll just coach the rest of you through and suck on my thumb. (more…)
Sometimes the simplest of things we can do for ourselves we don’t do very often, if ever at all. We look in the mirror and think ‘oh my God. Look at this…oh my…look at that…’ and walk away defeated. But there is no opponent. There is no Tyson coming at us from the opposite corner. We don’t even stand our ground long enough to really get a good look at the person in the mirror; we walk away quickly to avoid looking long at all.
The enemy isn’t the unfaithful partner that tanked our self-esteem, or the mean-spirited, so-called friend who doesn’t lift us up when we’re down because they “don’t know what it’s like not to be perfect.” It’s not the bully on the black top who tormented us at school or the group of populars who didn’t invite us out for a burger after a big game. The greatest enemy we face is the one who walks up to the mirror at least once a day, usually first thing in the morning, and stares right back.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why can’t we just love ourselves the way we are, for who we are, without putting so much emphasis on the way we look? I know it sounds trite, but the media in all its glossy glory with its digitally manipulated human weapons isn’t selling us anything that makes us feel better about looking in the mirror; it usually tries to sell us near impossible standards of beauty that are just as impossible to achieve naturally. I wish more beauty and grooming products were marketed to us as simply and directly as dental floss picks. (more…)
Okay, so we’ve decided that dating sites are “…Russian roulette…” according to Dennis Haynes, and I’ve added that some people on there are going to lie about their marital status even if that includes “not telling ain’t lyin'” situations.
So I’ve decided that the best way to date is to date people you know really well — like classmates, kids from the block — that kind of thing. Most of the time (though there are no guarantees) they will be the same gender they were when you knew them back then because, back then, we all know things made more sense (we’re old enough now to be able to say that). I mean, look: celebrities wore real clothes on the red carpet and sex tapes were bought at Ace hardware — not part of a PR campaign. It made sense.
I cannot guarantee anything other than I was born a female and I have no man-made or otherwise altered or augmented parts. I dunno about anyone else, but I digress, as usual. So here’s what you can expect from a first date with me: “So, I know you don’t like me and let’s be honest here — I don’t like you either. But I’m pretty sure I know how screwed up you are and pretty much the extent of how screwed up your life is. As such, I will tell you ALL about my childhood trauma and other excuses for the reason why I’m so screwed up and I’m on a date with you. Deal? I don’t pay for dates — you do.”
“Every wakeful step, every mindful act is the direct path to awakening. Wherever you go, there you are.” –Buddha
I’m always honored when anyone asks me for help of one kind or another. I am working on some projects that should make it easier to get more information out to you on more of a schedule. While I wish I could attend to each person the way I prefer, I know it’s not possible for each one of you to sit with me, personally, on a couch, under hypnosis, or under the spell of one of my best chicken soup recipes and sent back into the world with a kiss on your forehead. I do want to tell you this: the information that comes to you, in one way or another, from one experience or another, in ways you expect and the unexpected, is exactly what you need at the time you receive it. (more…)
Thanks for all the Valentine’s Day love! I had such fun reading your Valentine’s Day wishes that I found myself drifting back to elementary school days and preparations for classroom parties. Those were such carefree and innocent days. I remember how difficult a task it was to write less than 30 names on little paper envelopes was and my mother never, ever lost her patience with my procrastination. I remember how overwhelmed I felt checking to be sure I didn’t miss anyone or sent two to the same person and missed someone else. I realize how much time Mom spent helping me and my brothers with Valentine’s Day tasks. I appreciate how Mom and Dad made sure we had Valentine’s Day cards to give our friends though we didn’t have much disposable income for those kinds of things. I realize that helping us with the American tradition of school children passing out paper cards with sentiments like “Be mine!” printed on them was a pretty big deal — I learned a lot from it. I also learned it’s much easier to write 26 kids’ first names on miniature envelopes with a fat My Pal pencil than it is to have a real-life relationship with the guy on the other end of the candy conversation heart. (more…)
SPECIAL shout out to my single friends! Happy Valentine’s Day to you! If I were near you, I’d like to exchange Valentine’s Day cards, treats, and stickers, and my fave — the little boxes of conversation hearts! I would give you the prettiest pencils and lollies and I would cut for your the prettiest hearts in the deepest red paper, signed, “Your friend forever, Rita”.
Never think that you are alone because you’re single today: you may be luckier than some whose hearts are broken all day today, perhaps by someone they thought cared for them or someone who never did, perhaps by someone who cheated them and lied. I’m not saying it’s fun to be alone on Valentine’s Day, but I can tell you I know worse things that could be present in our lives today.
Don’t hesitate on love: give someone a chance! If you don’t match well, you’re still friends or you find cause enough to not want to be friends at all! But, the trying is the hard part if you’re out of practice and want someone special in your life…consider it’s like riding a bike: once you get on the bike you quickly remember how to pedal and balance! Don’t be afraid to get your heart broken: mine’s been broken so many times that now I think it’s quite pretty, like a mosaic. The scars remain, perhaps, but are not painful anymore: they just remind me of what I won’t put up with ever again!
You don’t have to jump into a full-blown romance, either. Just be FRIENDS first and see what happens from there. If nothing comes of it, you are always going to be friends. I’ve friends who started out as romantic interests and we figured out we’re better together as friends and companions in life! Let it be, let the past go away and fade into history, create a new story, a new romance for yourself if only the beginning is a journal entry that is, “I love myself enough to never settle for second best because I’m second to none.”
God bless you today — know that I love you and many others really do. And if you ever doubt, stop a moment — pause — and know that God in Heaven and your loved ones that are watching you live your life from their vantage point, always loved you, always will, and there is no greater love than that. Love yourself enough to say, “I am strong, deserving, good, and worthy of romance and beautiful LOVE.” Trust in God that life is not meant to be painful, nor is love supposed to hurt us deeply. ASK GOD for someone special in your life and TRUST IN HIM enough to know that there is no greater love than His but that he does, very much, want someone special in your life!
Go for it! Love yourself first in all relationships, enough to know the difference between a good one and a bad one. I guarantee there’s no benefit to you in staying in a relationship that hurts you and if you remember one thing, remember this: there is someone special out there, somewhere, for each of us but you won’t find him or her if you don’t look around.
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TO ALL MY SINGLE, LOVING FRIENDS! God bless you!