Scorpio

Scorpio

I think the sign Scorpio is the one who suffers parenting the most. To a Scorpio, under normal circumstances, a parenting ‘fail’ is like getting the death card in the tarot: it’s over, you can’t go back and redo it, it is what it is, game over. When Scorpio does it ‘wrong’, according to their estimation, they don’t (always) lash out at other people; what Scorpio does is punish itself. Ever see the zodiac art with the scorpion turning tail and stinging itself? Exactly.

The Scorpio parent can get so fixed on perfect child rearing that any perceived mistake requires the only acceptable act of contrition: self-destruction. Though Scorpio types are able to (burn themselves down to the ground and) rise from the ashes while making it look effortless, hip, and sexy, only Scorpio will ever know the depth of torment they put themselves through before, during, and after their glorious resurrection. Part of the before and during process involves accounting for every parenting fail Scorpio can think of (Scorpio’s ability to resurrect past transgressions, including their own, is legend). It doesn’t matter if the perceived failure included, but was not limited to, the original procreation (or fornication); Scorpio will go as far back as they deem necessary. They may even spontaneously regress into their own uterine limbo where they are pretty f*****g sure they premeditated future mistakes.

Do you know what Hara-kiri is? Scorpio does. (Good thing they’ve got that whole phoenix routine down.) Scorpio, there’s no need to expect your version of perfect parenting from yourself. Because there is no such thing as perfect parenting. And unless you have a Virgo ascendant like I do, this should be pretty easy to understand: do your best. Just do your best and remember that your spawn will turn out just fine so long as you forgive yourself the same way you taught them to forgive everyone else. Happy parenting, Scorp!